Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize