the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
