He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
being pregnant is like rehab
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
