Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
