So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
