Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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