I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
