Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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