The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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