i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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