Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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