lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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