Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
