Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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