So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
