This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Someone came in the potted fern
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize