return my video game
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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