you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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