i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
