Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
