im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
