Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
