Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
