okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
