Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
