I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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