i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize