Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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