I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
