I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My life is pants optional.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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