its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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