we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
