So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
