my phone needs a breathalizer
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
