White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
