marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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