I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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