btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
