yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
