I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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