Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
