If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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