just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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