I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So vagazzling was a success
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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