You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just pee around me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You are a genius and a whore.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
