i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
