Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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