Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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