I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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