I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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