Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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