I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
