He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just had sex on a roof
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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