? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think I won the penis lottery.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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