Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
