What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
operation harelip BJ is a go
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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