Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
